THE TOILET PAPERS
Pieces Just the Right Length

CONTENTS

Preface

SHORT PIECES

Huckleberry Halley
For a Joyful Christmas
Mud, Mud, Glorious Mud!
Reach Out and Strangle Someone
The Day We Get Mother
A Christmas Story
Death to Digitals
Just the Basic Black
Divine Justice
Mission
"Fellow Voyager, See You When"
Harbinger
Mouse in the House
White-Coat Nonsense
Take 'em Out 'n' Shoot 'em
Not Music to my Ears
The Rape of the Lock
The Barbara and Adnan Road Show
Lawn Care
An Expert Like Madame
A Shift in the Wind
Day of Rest
Sturgeon's Law
Not to Worry
The Packaging of Artistic Genius
Exile
Heart Valves
What Got Bobby?
Cardiovascular Superiority
Another School of Thought
Hunter Hunting Season
The Trial of the Rooftop Six
Cheerleaders
Fledgling
Our Well Runneth Dry
Madison Ave U
What Rot Man Hath Wrought
No More Tears
Launching the Little Prince
Keeper of the Key
New Chambers for the Student Prince
Day of Reckoning
The Snow Globe
New Hampshire in Purple Prose

MEDIUM PIECES

Eyeballing the Grim Reaper
A Mission for Mother Theresa
Past the Prime
Pathways to Paradise
Crickets
In the Blood
January 26, 1993
Tic-Tac-Atomic-Toe
What Are We Waiting for?
The Night of the Bear
The World Turn Upside Down
"Is There Life after High School?"
Harry and Vincent
The Baby in the Bottle
What Would Jesus Do?
Blueberries

PIECES FOR WHEN YOU HAVE TO STAY A WHILE

Shallow Roots: The Armenian Disconnection
One for the Memory Bank
Six Feet High and Risin'
Three Hermits
Ice-Bound
Flood!
The Scent of Pines